Posts tagged Friends
It was just over the weekend I had dinner with Steph. Well, the usual catch up session and all. We then touched on the topic of relationship. She sparked the question, “So, any prospect yet with any girls?”.
Haha, seriously, I think a lot of people are more worried of me being single than I actually am myself. But, great! Thanks for the concern people. But, bearing in mind that if I am meant to be single, then it is God’s will, not mine. Then again, men and women are meant to be united as one in God’s Kingdom. Hence, I am sure there is one person out there whom he has kept waiting for me while I build his Kingdom. (Okay, I am sounding like I am preaching the whole lot of the Church but hey, that’s my life man. Either you like me bad, or you like me good.)
Okay, what I am going to touch about here is “Support System” in a relationship, be it your family, friends, date or your spouse. Often in relationship, the key issue faced is “time” spent together. I think this is actually the main major issue most relationship fail.
Let me take for example of relationship as a couple. Steph and I talked about our friends who finds that relationship is all about spending time together as a couple. To me, probably that is not entirely true. I believe and I think that being in a relationship is all about support. Often that we hear that one side of a couple says that their partner doesn’t spend much time together with him/her. They go on and complaint that all their partner do is work and work and only spend 1 time a week with him/her. I could say that mostly, again, “mostly” the women will complaint about that the most.
What is support in a relationship?
To put it simply, personally, I feel that when the man goes to work, what most the woman can do is support. Often at many times, woman thinks that their man should be giving more time to her instead of his work. There are many more but I shall not go further. My opinion is much one-sided but I suppose men has the tendency to do such complaints too. Now, the earlier comment is very subjective, because certain group of woman would think that when their man only knows about work, there could be a hidden agenda or something.
Now, I wouldn’t say this is not true but… hey, all man are evil to you ladies who has been cheated by their man, no?
While another group would think that they are second in priority in her man’s life and heart.
Personally, if I was that man (I’m such a classic good example no?), I would say “Give me all the support that you can as much as I give all the love I can give to you.” When I put an importance to my work now, I am putting an importance towards you as well as to our future “if” we ever build a family together.
As I put it in my own words, “I am building my empire here”, a future for myself or the both of us. If all you can do is complaint of the lack of time spent together while not trusting me doing my bit for the relationship of ours, then it will never end. Of course, time spent will be limited but the trust, love and support should and must be greater than that!
Because, the glory will come for the family when the man has more than enough to provide for the family and it will also be the time the man will have more time to spend with his loved ones. Unless the man of the family don’t have proper planning or succession plans in his work/business, it will not help much. Let’s talk reality here, living expenses is just going up by the day and if the man can’t provide for himself enough, what makes you think there will be a family which can survive by just enough?
Plus, when it comes to support it is also a mutual role in providing for the family. Hence, women plays equal part. In this world, man are never higher than woman, just the role is different in the life of a man or woman.
I would say that, be it if you are a woman or a man. In a relationship, support them all you can with any means and in any stage of your life. If your spouse works late night, ask them if they need food. If your spouse is having trouble at work, be a good listener. If your spouse can’t cook well so do you, eat out together. If your spouse is having income issues this month, spend less and budget for the month. In any situation, there is a way out. In the end, the essence of relationship is being together happy with love in the eyes of God (if you are a religious person). Plus, you don’t need to be a religious person to know what’s love.
You are put upon a test, where you have to decide between A or B.
Often at times, 90% of the time, you would have to choose a collateral damage.
And the time when you have choose a collateral damage, it usually plays with emotion.
Say, for instance you are a boss and you wanted to keep office cost low but you got two great sales person and of course, one is better than the other one by a slight margin of performance. You definitely gotta get rid of one person. That’s collateral damage.
I’ve seen an ex-colleague of mine, getting promised a job, but in the end not being hired because The Office decided cost was the intended outcome and my ex-colleague would have to be the collateral damage.
I also had to forgo a friendship because it was too taxing with me having to endure his non-stop problems. Friendship was the collateral damage.
A mother wanting to save more than enough for his kid to go for college have to keep a stringent diet just to do so. Personal satisfaction was her collateral damage.
Me, leaving my comfort of paid salary to the discomfort of running my own business with risk. Comfort is my collateral damage if u allow me to say so.
This does not applies to work only, while it applies to many other factors and most of these factors comes in the form of words that ends with “…ship”. To name a few; partnership, friendship, relationship and etc.
You surely got my drift. You basically choose to forgo something in order to achieve and intended outcome.
Like choosing an option between A or B?
Either one, one has to be a collateral damage which is incidental to the intended/desired outcome than the other one.
I guess many of us do have to choose a collateral damage from time to time.
What’s your collateral damage?
Okay… backdated posts are all coming out… Wheee…
You know what’s 1Malaysia?
It is that my Muslim friends out of sudden made plans for Christmas BBQ.
The equation of Muslim and Christmas may be hard to be accepted by many, but not with me nor us The Boys which consist of 3 Muslims, 1 All God Believer/Non-Believer and 2 Christians. Guess which is who?
There you go… The Boys doing some rituals… I guess so…
So here we are, celebrating Christmas in 2009 with a small BBKill fest…
Oh… I don’t think I will have any issue using the word “Allah” in front of them. The unwritten pact is, we respect each others’ believe and learn the differences between our Islam and Christianity.
For the past 20 years, I’ve learnt that we are both brothers and sisters in God’s name.
It’s been a while since I last updated this space…
Been busy with The Office’s budget for 2010 and many other crazy things.
One of it being Project Capricorn and also meeting up friends whom I’ve not met for a very long time…
Another thing that I did this past week was to look into updating my resume. It has been a while since I last updated my resume. Why? 6 months yo! 6 months!
I’ve never even been for a proper interview. This job is my first job and the interview? It was so impromptu right at along the college corridor. Haha.
Just came back from dinner with moi mates from Taylor’s College back then, except one.
Three happy couples they are while I’m the only single one there.
To my left, SM and KK. I think they should get married already! Which I think they are planning already.
To my front, PT and MW. Both of them also. Time to tie the knot. Nads kept on asking MW when they both gonna get married and MW replied “Stop asking me this question already lah!”. Hahah… so funny.
To my right, Nads and Nigel. Well, maybe you both will get married first! But, hey… I’m happy to see both of you and you are much happier now as I can see.
Me? I will send my invitation card soon! T_T
Swaying away, a friend over the weekend made a comment saying that guys who says they would want to look into their career now first rather than relationship should rethink. Something she said along the line of,
“If you can’t even take multiple responsibilities between a career and a relationship, what makes you think that you can juggle them both when you find the love of your life?“
It took a hit on me as it was exactly my intention and I last said it over last Christmas that I’m looking into a career now more than a relationship.
Guess I was just running away from the truth, as we all do. I’ve always wanted a relationship, well I’m not the kind of desperate for one but a relationship to share my life with someone whom I would love.
Maybe I didn’t take my chances or rather was not brave enough to get into one these past year. Maybe it’s just me or as many people would put it, “face problem”. Hahahaha. AND I don’t think the later is correct cause I hensem wat. :p (OMG, muka tebal gila tebal teramat tebal) T_T
Why am I talking about relationship here now? Ish… not the real purpose of this post.
So, anyways… I was saying… it has been a while since I last updated.
Been catching up with buddies and friends whom I’ve not met for some time now and it was good. I guess, I will still update regularly and I’ve got so many posts to write from events I’ve been recently invited and attended.
Chinese New Year is around the corner yet again, and plans has been made to meet up with Primary Mates. Whoa! It has been really a while since I last planned a gathering. Feels… a lot more refreshing planning things out.
I’m gonna head home now and crash… so you my friends, keep on coming for more as I’ve been outta my busy week mode. Will update more often!
See see Tinki Talks got snow, I also wan snow! But my snow a bit the different wan. Got many three colours wan! Red, Green and Gold! A lot nicer and unconventional, like white.
The genius behind the codings >>> CincauHangus!
Nice or not!?!?!?! Say niceee…..
Good things don’t come cheap… see! Later I go change the code to 30 per drop. Nyek! Nyek! Nyek! I also know coding wan lor…
But then, this Nads has to come and say it looks like Deepavali! T_T
I think she a bit the colour blind yesterday. Don’t blame her.
It really looks joyful lor! Red, Green and Gold… Wheee.
All you need is just a great company to take your mind off certain things.
Of course good food (lamb shank with nice Aussie wine), good coffee (The best coffee in the world) and good music (chillout house music) adds in as a bonus to the whole.
I can’t believe I went back to the same place again. But I had fun!
Pictures later. It is in my phone.
I was having lunch earlier and I had one of the best Rojak ever.
Then I remembered the nice yummy sour mango I had last year while I was in Penang. It is so so so so so rare to find the same taste and type of mango here in KL.
I was told they are selling it at Pudu Wet Market.
Time go get dirty!
On another note, this reminds me of the nice Juice I had in Malacca too.
The CC Team of AIESEC International Congress at Malacca roadside, nearby Tan Kim Hock for fresh juice pit stop.
I woke up this morning realizing that I never had my dinner last night.
Such a sad case. I need dinner plans to keep my stomach satisfied lah.
That aside, it is already approaching weekend and today is Friday! Now you know huh. Thank me for reminding you. *smile* You’re welcome.
I can’t wait to leave to Gold Coast this Sunday and be crazy with my two loves, NuttyAidan and RueJabroni.
The same craziness that we did in Singapore back in 2006.
Hahaha… fun times… More to come this weekend at Gold Coast.
Time for lunch! Catcha ya’ll…
Yes. A break. Now that you’ve chatted me up on “that” subject, I guess all we need is a break.
But, you ain’t leaving me to a break in peace…
Thanks for hitting some sense in me and like I said and I say it again.
You know better…
I shall bring this thoughts and digest it while I’m away…
Thank you again…