Life is such an interesting topic to talk about when you are out and about having a cuppa with your buddies.
It’s a topic that you can’t go any wrong. So much to talk about isn’t it.
Just last week, one of my buddy, Ling Kang, from primary got married and had his wedding dinner back in Klang. It dawned upon me, whoa, how much we have all grown and my friends are all getting married and here I am still have nowhere to go or any direction that I am clear on going.
Some were asking me, where is my partner. I was pretty much stunned on how to answer them actually. You see, I already have an answer to the question but wasn’t sure myself to answer them Set A or Set B. Because, Set A tells them that, yes I am seeing someone and I did ask but she decided not to go due to some valid reasons. Set B sets me back to keep it cool and be the usual “hey, I am all single and it’s all about timing and still haven’t got the right one yet and work is taking its toll on me, so u have anyone to introduce?” Guess which was the answer? No prize for guessing it right. I’ve never got wonderful good story to tell in my B-G relationships. All I’ve got is lesson learnt.
So, my life right now is pretty much back to ground zero. At 27, going to be 28 soon in months to come ZOMG! I’m still neither here nor there. I thought I was there, but it all started crumbling down. After high school, I struggled to into higher-education. Family asked me to go into Form 6 and the thought of ending up in the government education totally shrug off the idea of Form 6. Then, I ended up in Tourism Management with the then Taylor’s College School of Hospitality and Tourism (TCHT). Much struggle in the beginning as there wasn’t much funds for me to study in a private college. Things got better when I got Full Scholarship many thanks to my lazying days in High School and also a lecturer who fought for my scholarship.
Finished college and then entered the workforce when I was 21 and it was also a struggle to commute from Klang to KL with a salary of RM 1,200 a month. Crazy right? That’s tourism industry if you wanna know, it is just that bad! ZOMG!
I learnt it all the hard way for 5 years in my first company. School of hard knocks I call it. Because I had to learn by hitting road blocks. Not much of a guidance and it’s all about self discovery and self learning and finding my way out all the time.
I came out on my own, joint with partnership now and got into multiple other ventures recently that turned sour and some was good. The past 2 years, I thought everything was going all good and I was like comfortably rising and have no worries. Today, I have to think thrice on everything that I want to embark on, sometimes more.
I am back to ground zero as I said. I only have God and my family. I’m currently at the juncture of choosing my next path in life. It is seriously the hardest ever moment in my life and I don’t know where to go and what to do next. I’ve got offers coming in my way and projects and many many opportunities, but I don’t know which would do my best.
Just few days ago, my car broke down while I was driving and luckily I managed to manoeuvre it to the side of the road in the housing area and park my car. Usually, I would just shout and curse and tweet and update my status cursing my life. I did not. I was so immune to anything that comes to break me down. I turned off my car and lock it and walked back to my office. I did not for instance cried for help, cause, I know, I gotta brave this all alone.
It’s when you’ve fallen so hard that whatever it is that comes breaking you down, you are naturally immune to it already. You just have to accept it as life usual happening and take it easy. It helps a lot with God around your life. Be it relationship, money, work, family or anything.
Speaking of God, I was talking to the Jeevan Sahadevan of Action Coach recent Friday. Yes, the Jeevan Sahadevan you listen to BFM on Raise Your Game. He said, his turnaround in his life when he appointed Christ as his CEO. How beautiful it is, yes?
Right now, be it unto Him to steer my life in full gear ahead or reverse. Any way He wants it. I’ll leave it to Him.
Because, life is so meaningless right now but with Him, it is all so wonderful and it all makes sense even more with Him, knowing what I am going through right now, be it hard or good it is for His glory.
I don’t know how this post should end or start actually. I thought, I may just share it here where billions can read while I still can share.
It is true somehow to the extend of this saying “Wild Goose Chase”. No one ever likes it.
You know you want something so bad that you would want to embark on a journey to find it. Work. Relationship. Health.
You put in all your heart and time and strength and efforts and what not, and in the end, you end up being despair.
We all have dreams… we all have our desires and we all have our ideal future that we want to hold on to.
We often chase these what we wants and often in my case, it was all about wild goose chase. Seriously.
So blinded by fiction that we forgets the reality and we really need a knock in the head to get back to reality.
This quote by Will Smith came timely and it is indeed a very nice quote that I am going to hold dearly from now.
It has been a while since I last talked about my work… I really had no mood to write about my work and what I’ve been doing. Not that I’m not happy doing what I’ve been doing. It is just that I’m not happy doing what I’ve been doing without a fairly good remuneration package.
Had a meeting and it was a meeting to clear the air and because I’ve been receiving certain emails that sounds “very” encouraging…
They wanted me to open up and let me say what I feel about the on-goings off the company and what not so I did…
Then, I commented of course about my salary and also the remuneration package that I’ve been getting which I don’t think it is attractive enough.
So I said sternly that I’ve not gotten my promotion confirmation. Yes, every promotion comes with a confirmation and my promotion probation ended June 2009. Nah-ah… I’ve not got any reply or news since then.
Then I brought it up and ask “what’s gonna happen to it? Am I gonna get my increment or not? Will there be any adjustments?”
He replied saying “I’ve not even got my increment as well…”
I seriously wanted to laugh… Come on, you are the boss u are not my manager. You don’t get increment, but u get to keep the profits.
Oh wells talk about profit and the reason?
Because 2009 was a bad year…
Yeah! Bad year… and we had 30% in sales increment compared to 2008 and we have more work than 2008.
Bad year yeah…
I don’t think we are throwing the rotten egg away at all…
Pfft! In Patrick Teoh’s words…
Oh, what if my boss is reading my blog?
Summary is, you are care for your pocket, we care for ours too.
It’s been a while since I last updated this space…
Been busy with The Office’s budget for 2010 and many other crazy things.
One of it being Project Capricorn and also meeting up friends whom I’ve not met for a very long time…
Another thing that I did this past week was to look into updating my resume. It has been a while since I last updated my resume. Why? 6 months yo! 6 months!
I’ve never even been for a proper interview. This job is my first job and the interview? It was so impromptu right at along the college corridor. Haha.
Just came back from dinner with moi mates from Taylor’s College back then, except one.
Three happy couples they are while I’m the only single one there.
To my left, SM and KK. I think they should get married already! Which I think they are planning already.
To my front, PT and MW. Both of them also. Time to tie the knot. Nads kept on asking MW when they both gonna get married and MW replied “Stop asking me this question already lah!”. Hahah… so funny.
To my right, Nads and Nigel. Well, maybe you both will get married first! But, hey… I’m happy to see both of you and you are much happier now as I can see.
Me? I will send my invitation card soon! T_T
Swaying away, a friend over the weekend made a comment saying that guys who says they would want to look into their career now first rather than relationship should rethink. Something she said along the line of,
“If you can’t even take multiple responsibilities between a career and a relationship, what makes you think that you can juggle them both when you find the love of your life?“
It took a hit on me as it was exactly my intention and I last said it over last Christmas that I’m looking into a career now more than a relationship.
Guess I was just running away from the truth, as we all do. I’ve always wanted a relationship, well I’m not the kind of desperate for one but a relationship to share my life with someone whom I would love.
Maybe I didn’t take my chances or rather was not brave enough to get into one these past year. Maybe it’s just me or as many people would put it, “face problem”. Hahahaha. AND I don’t think the later is correct cause I hensem wat. :p (OMG, muka tebal gila tebal teramat tebal) T_T
Why am I talking about relationship here now? Ish… not the real purpose of this post.
So, anyways… I was saying… it has been a while since I last updated.
Been catching up with buddies and friends whom I’ve not met for some time now and it was good. I guess, I will still update regularly and I’ve got so many posts to write from events I’ve been recently invited and attended.
Chinese New Year is around the corner yet again, and plans has been made to meet up with Primary Mates. Whoa! It has been really a while since I last planned a gathering. Feels… a lot more refreshing planning things out.
I’m gonna head home now and crash… so you my friends, keep on coming for more as I’ve been outta my busy week mode. Will update more often!
I think it is seriously the time to run on my own…
No more thoughts about it and this time it will be final…
I’m taking the 6 months time line seriously and it will definitely happen…
If I’m gonna exhaust myself, it better be for myself…
I called a day’s off today as I was feeling really tired. The kind that you get up already but still want to sleep and no matter how much thoughts are running in your head that you have a lot of work to do, you just don’t get up. Yeah, I get that this morning.
I think maybe I was so burned out lah…
Then, the thought of if I go for Doctor and I have to MC and then I have to claim. The question of should I claim or should I not comes to bug me. Why? Because The Office cap the medical claims at RM 250 per year.
Who caps medical claims anyways? So contradicting with the Malaysian employment law…
Then, there is… who’s gonna do the unfinished business at The Office?
The answer is myself. Hence, that’s where I am right now. At The Office.
Sad? You tell me…
I’m definitely better off running myself and hence, Project Capricorn!
That is the time line, unless something better comes up!
I can’t do this anymore, I will die young, definitely.
1st July 2010 will be a new beginning.
IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT IS YET TO COME….
BRING IT OUT ALREADY!!!
THIS IS KILLING ME SOFTLY, SO TO SAY…
I will definitely go bonkers anytime soon…
How am I feeling right now?
I feel like I’ve just fast forward 365 days in 1 day. Like literally.
Now, my brain juice has been used up. Sorry I can’t think of anything to blog about but this instance of what has just been accomplished.
I need to re-charge the brain and also the tummy for now.
I wonder, with this kind of hours I’m putting up, why am I not in the advertising industry eh? No wait. I have the hours, but not the ’skills’. Ah I get it.
Ignore me, my brain just can’t process anything already…
Good night peoples…
It is not easy to work with a family business company…
Certainly not easy too to work for a MNC company…
The both have their pros and cons…
Seriously… I don’t know lah…
One, wants to impress the bosses….
While the other, wants to grab everything but not follow through…
In the end, all the shit will come to me…
I’m just stuck in between all these shits…